WE ARE ONE

I am thrilled and rejoice that Congress finally repealed the "Do Not Ask, Do Not Tell" Policy in the military!  It's about time.  There is nothing right about denying a portion of our citizens the right to merely be who they are.

I remember feeling totally betrayed when then President Clinton, who had campaigned on gay rights, caved (in my opinion) and instituted the "DADT" policy.  I even wrote him a letter telling him of my feelings.  His response was not satisfying to me at all--no real substance at all.

Now it's the job of the relevant individuals in the military to make sure their troops follow this policy and do not take it upon themselves to fight it.  I am pleased there will be training for their leaders, based on their branch of the military, to help them lead the troops under their command to following this policy. giving them the tools they will need.

I thank President Obama for following through on his pledge and Congress for realizing what was the right thing to do.

Every person is a unique human being, with unique gifts that are needed for the world to succeed and to grow.  Every person is a child of God/the Universe/the Creator/Universal Consciousness....

From the place of light and love and truth in me, I bow to that place of light and love and truth in  you.

We are One.

Namaste

Blue Christmas Service

Last night my pastor, Laurie Boche, and I held a Blue Christmas service for those who find this time of the year difficult.  We are supposed to be so HAPPY!  But some people are grieving a loss ~ of a loved one, of a job, of good health--there are many reasons one might not be happy at this time of the year.  


It is not easy and it takes courage to face our grief fully and surrender to its reality.  Surrendering turns it over to that which is bigger than we are--to God, the Universe, Allah--what is your name for Supreme Consciousness?  Laurie did the majority of the service, but I contributed poems and a grief litany I wrote for the service.  I post it here.

Sadness burdens our hearts

Let God carry our burden

Anger puts up walls

Let the Beloved hear our anger

Fear grips us tightly

Let the Holy One soften our hearts

If we pour out our grief to God ~ Surrendering all that is within

Grace will break us open

Divine Light will flood our darkness

And our hearts will be filled with the Comforter's unwavering love

Rumi said:  "...the wailing of broken hearts is the doorway to God."

I wish you all peace in your hearts.

I Decided

Just to follow up on my last blog--I have decided to have rotator cuff surgery and have set the date--March 1st.  I am glad I made the decision from a place of calm and not from fear or what I "should" do.  In the past, I have made decisions like this in a hurry, not from a centered place.  "Get it over with!"  Be the good girl and do what "they" say.  If I had had significant pain, I'm sure I would have opted for it right then, but I have little to no pain.  I have also faithfully done my exercises and have rehabilitated it greatly.  Yet, it's still significantly torn and that part won't repair.  I guess I'm practicing good stewardship of my shoulder.

COSMIC JOKE?

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that my dithering about whether or not to have shoulder surgery continues.  I think when I last mentioned it on this blog, I had decided not to have the surgery.  Then sometime later, I decided I would have the surgery, as I have to think about what I can/cannot do nearly every moment--day and night.  Now I'm not so sure again.  Part of my indecision, besides the recovery period and possible pain, is that this shoulder does not bother me much at all.  I have faithfully been doing my theraband exercises and wall pushups, and that and time has greatly stabilized my shoulder.  I am also doing my somatic shoulder exercises and learning how to fine tune my shoulder blade movements.  I can reach, stretch, and use it much more than I could initially and with more body awareness.  I have little pain.  In reality, it is my other shoulder than gives me more trouble--more pain and more mobility problems.  (I do my shoulder routines on that shoulder as well.)  I don't know what is wrong with this other shoulder--is it also a torn rotator cuff, or an "impingement" problem, or both?  


Should I take my chances and not have the surgery.  I know there is a danger I would wait beyond the point when it could be repaired--maybe I already have.


The cosmic joke is that it really doesn't matter which route I choose.  EACH ROUTE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO LEAD ME TO THE SAME PLACE!  Shoulder surgery is the means to my enlightenment/my bliss.  Not having shoulder surgery is the means to my enlightenment/my bliss!  The Universe is the same, I am the same.  How I deal with either one is key.  My wisdom leads me to my enlightenment.  So can my stumbles.  The Universe is there with Grace either way--if I will only receive it.


That comforts me and makes me chuckle, and I'm still not sure what to do.

AMUSING PAIRING

I have been having an interesting time while meditating these days.  At the same time I am sitting in meditation, I am also hearing shotgun shots from the duck hunter hunting from an island just across the bay from our home.  It's an amusing pairing--the stillness and peace of meditation and the noise and implied violence of duck hunting.  What am I to learn from this?

That there is no light without the dark.  Everything has its other side.  I am basically a good person, but I have the potential to be violent or evil.  This differs from how I interpreted former president George Bush's talking about the "Evildoers."  It seemed they were "they," and not the potential to be he.

If we don't recognize that we have shadow sides, which are unknown or unlived parts of ourselves, those unknown parts will come out in ways that are out of our control and that we may not admit to.  (An aside, our shadow side may be our magnificence if we haven't claimed that part of ourselves.)  We want to give ourselves choices in how we will behave, rather than just reacting.

So I thank that duck hunter for reminding me of the wholeness of life.  There is good and evil, greatness and mediocrity, nonviolence and violence, joy and sadness, peace and war, light and dark.

FAITH PLACE AND FEAR PLACE

I was asked to talk about stewardship of my faith at church yesterday (Hope UMC).  Here are my remarks.


I think faith is the opposite of fear.  There is fear that keeps us alive (we don't step out in front of a bus).  But I'm talking about fear that holds us back--fear of the future.  Faith is instead being unswerving in times of uncertainty and living in the present.


It's easy to fear during these uncertain times, especially about our finances.  (The stock market crashed and has not recovered very much; houses are not selling or selling at reduced prices; people are losing their homes; there is a reluctance to purchase goods and for businesses to expand; the job market is sluggish.)  These concerns affect all of us.


So, it is natural to feel cautious about giving our money away.  Rather, our instinct is to hoard and hold on to our resources--we want to have something to "fall back on," and to "see us through."  


Do I then dare give my money to good causes or to increase my pledge?  When I hold back, I realize my faith is being governed by my fear--fear of the unknown, of the future.  And when I take time to scan my body, I notice it is gripping and tight, not open and light.  This is not how I want to live.  I do not want to live from a fear place.  I have made a commitment to live from a faith place--trusting that God/Spirit/ the Universe cares for me each moment of my life--living in the now.  That, even if the feared "bad thing" happens, "I am safe in the arms of God," a phrase I use to remind me of my faith when I am feeling anxious.


Stewardship of my faith asks me to dare to live with trust.  One experiment I have made is to tithe 10% of my earnings from my psychotherapy practice to charity right off the top, before I bank or spend them.  These offerings are small, but it is my intention that guards my faith.  I found out it is fun to choose the charity of the week!  I also discovered that tithing my income caused me to feel light, open, and even joyful!  My heart is open, I am coming from a faith place, not a fear place.

Decision, Decisions/Bird Brain

I have spent the last few weeks trying to decide if I should have surgery to repair my torn right rotator cuff. What was the right thing to do?  Would it get worse?  If I did not have the surgery, would I make it that much harder, or impossible, to repair?  Could I survive the recovery period?  Should I do it and then be fixed and not have to worry about it dislocating again?  I reminded myself of one of the little birds I see on my walks that are never still and flit from branch to branch, never allowing themselves to really be seen--they're off before I can get a good look.  That has been what my brain has been doing these last few weeks.

Friday, I had an appointment with the surgeon who would be doing the surgery.  He spent an hour telling me all about the problem and what the surgery and the recovery would entail;  it is an arduous recovery!  I was even fitted for a sling with pillow that I would wear 24/7 after surgery to keep my shoulder immobile.  I returned home feeling very stressed and unsure.  (Still the bird flitting from here to there.)

I had been praying for clear discernment of what my body needed and wanted me to do.  I may have mentioned before that I have always been a "good girl," so I easily get caught in "what is the right thing to do.

Saturday morning I awakened and knew I was not going to have the surgery at this time.  My shoulder was not troubling me that much right now--I didn't have to have the surgery.  My little bird lit on a branch and was calm and steady and watchful.  I totally feel as if I have made the perfect decision for me at this time (not the right or the wrong decision).

What a relief!  My body is stiff and sore now--I think from stressing over what to decide--but that's OK.  I feel a lot of compassion for myself and for anyone who struggles with important decisions.

Tapas

Mac Pains

Learning my Mac hurts.

I will learn to be clever,

or I’ll die trying.

first haiku on my new Mac

Catharine Larsen September 09, 2010

I must admit, my haiku is a bit melodramatic, but sometimes it does feel that way.  I have been a Microsoft/Word user for all of my computer life, and now I've switched to a Mac.  I did it when my former laptop kept freezing up on me.  I went to Mac, because I've heard so much about them, and because I use photos and photo presentations in my work, and I heard it was great for photos.  At this moment, however, my photos are not really usable, which is frustrating.  I'm waiting for the Geek Squad to return and download/transfer them from my old computer in a different way (I hope they can).

I am not very computer literate, but I use one all the time.  I am finding that I am on the verge of becoming overwhelmed, or irritated and impatient.  Tapas is the 8th guideline in the Yamas and Niyamas, the ethical guidelines of yoga.  They show us the pathway to competent living.  Tapas means self-discipline and, literally, staying in the fire until the blessing (in this case, Mac competency).  Alchemists believed they could turn base metals into gold (think treasure) by burning them in a fiery crucible.  I keep reminding myself to hold fast and to stay in my learning phase without getting all upset and crazy (I could go there).  I want to stay in the "fire" of not knowing as long as it takes.  There is a blessing to come--competency I hope.

New Yoga Class starting this Fall!

Managing Transition: Life Changes with

THE YAMAS & NIYAMAS

6:30pm- 8:00pm one Sunday a month for 8 months
Oct 17, Nov 21, Dec 19, Jan 16, Feb 20, Mar 13, Apr 17, May 15
$175, program includes book and materials (pre-registration required)


Yoga North is excited to offer a second Yamas &
Niyamas course applying the wisdom of the ethical
guidelines of yoga while focusing on dealing with life
changes, such as the effects aging can have on one’s body
and mind, whose medical issues have compromised their
normal ways of coping, or those who have suffered a
significant loss that has impacted their lives.


The five Yamas (nonviolence, truthfulness, nonstealing,
nonexcess, and nonpossessiveness) guide us in dealing
with our relationship to the outer world, while in the
Niyamas (purity, contentment, self-discipline, self-study, and
surrender) we turn inward to develop a right relationship
to ourselves.

We will use The Yamas and Niyamas, Exploring
Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele, co-owner of
Yoga North, to explore and apply to our own lives the concepts and questions raised in each chapter.
Certain meditation and yoga practices will also be introduced to enhance our explorations.


Your instructor is Catharine Larsen, MA, Licensed Psychologist, whose life has been enriched by studying

and teaching The Yamas and Niyamas, and who is dealing with the effects of ageing in her own life. Those

who have studied these practices have found them life-changing and life-enriching each time they explored

them. We look forward to you joining us as we explore and mine the gold of yoga’s ethical practices.

REGISTER TODAY FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY

http://www.yoganorthduluth.com/

Find Your True North at the Northland’s Premier Teacher Training Studio

4628 Pitt Street, Duluth Minnesota 218.722.YOGA

ADDITION TO WTC BLOG

PASSING IT ON

by John van de Laar

Wherever hatred and suspicion divide people and fragment communities

we will pass on love.

Wherever sorrow and cynicism leave the dark stain of despair

we will pass on joy.

Wherever violence and abuse shatter lives and destroy the earth

we will pass on peace.

Wherever expediency and the quest for quick fixes create confusion and need

we will pass on patience.

Wherever heartlessness and selfishness cause loneliness and exclusion

we will pass on kindness.

Wherever evil and darkness steal away hope and integrity

we will pass on goodness.

Wherever aggression and coercion remove freedom and playfulness

we will pass on gentleness.

Wherever self-interest and shallowness undermine relationships and stability

we will pass on faithfulness.

Wherever lawlessness and carelessness generate chaos and fear

we will pass on self-control.

Taken from the Hope UMC August 29, 2010 bulletin

World Trade Towers Mosque/Grief Revenge

I've been thinking about this for a long time--the connection between grief and revenge. Now, when there is such a great discussion about whether to build a mosque near the site of the World Trade Center, and all of the history and grief it holds, I think it's relevant.

After the World Trade Towers were hit by planes flown by Muslims apparently set on our destruction, there was a tremendous outpouring of grief and outrage. And there still is so much grief.
Our emotions are so strong, they beg to be released, the pressure is so great within us. This is the time when there needs to be time and space for grieving. Unfortunately, those strong emotions so often turn into revenge and attack. This is true on a personal and on a national level in my opinion.

As people take their sides on the WTC site vs. building the mosque, this grief is only too evident, and harsh words and views are being expressed. We have split into We and They, not Us. The climate becomes such that truthful discourse, perhaps focused on reconciliation (while never denying the truth of what happened) does not feel possible.

To grieve fully, one needs to get past the denial and anger and realize and fully accept the enormity and pain of what has happened. This is hard and painful work. But, if one does, one begins to envision a life beyond the grief, where the event to be grieved has been integrated, and where one is now transformed and able to live a richer life because of the suffering.

Etty Hillesum, a young woman who died in Auschwitz, said in diary written from an interim camp, "We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds." (An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941 - 43")

Let us all breathe in the pain and breathe out the healing.

Posted by Catharine Larsen, MA, LP at

Hummingbird Lesson

I've been enjoying watching the hummingbirds at our hummingbird feeder on our deck.  They come early in the morning--rain or shine--and then around noon and then later in the day.   I can distinguish the male from the female, but not when they're flying around quick as can be.  They are feisty, territorial birds.  Even though there are at least 4 feeding stations on the feeder, when the male is feeding, he will not allow another hummingbird to feed at the same time.  He'll even just sit there without dipping into the nectar--is he "holding his space?"  The other one keeps returning for a try, but is darted at and leaves, but keeps trying over and over. 

This made me think of how I keep trying to "protect my territory," in this case it's my expectations.  It's my expectations that the world go according to Catharine, not as it happens to unfold.  That snail-slow person in the car ahead of me who is holding me up; the store that doesn't have the item I want; my husband who doesn't do (guess) what I want him to do.  I'm like that little hummingbird--I react and fuss.  Really, who do I think I am?  Such an ego, an ego that keeps gripping and fussing even though the situation is out of my control.  When I "come to" and am aware, I know how silly and wasteful this all is.

Breathe and accept what is in the moment, staying relaxed and open.  That's my goal anyway.  Good I have the hummingbirds to enjoy and to remind me.

Mower Musings

This morning as I was meditating, my silence was interrupted by the very considerable sounds of a huge riding lawn mower.  (We live in one of several townhouses and these tasks are done for us.)  I had opened the window wide to let some of the lovely fresh air in before it got too hot and muggy. 

I focus on my mantra (a Sanskrit phrase given to me by my teacher) as I meditate, and the mower intruded on my concentration.  Several thoughts came to me.  Should I get up and close the window so that the sound was less?  One of the goals in meditation is to remain still, so I didn't.  This noisy mower presented me with an opportunity.  My main thought was to just let the sound come and go, without needing to grab it--just witness it--over and over.  What I realized did not work was to try and make it go away--then I was grabbing it.  What made the whole situation more difficult was one minute the mower would be really loud right outside my window, and then fade as the mower went far away, which was nice, but then I found myself wondering when it would come back my way again!  (If it had been consistent, I think I would have phased it out of my consciousness.)  I discovered that actually listening to it, letting myself hear it, without reacting to it, was the next best thing to being the witness to it.  Soon I wasn't listening to it, I was merely hearing it pass through my mind as I focused on my mantra.

Sometimes meditation isn't "perfect," but that's just the way of meditation.  Don't get upset over those times.  Be purely in the moment and content with whatever is happening.

Namaste

Transformational Dance Experience/Sacred Dance

I promised I'd talk about my Transformational Dance Retreat experience (July 19 Blog).  I haven't because it is hard to describe something so deep and profound--and fun!  First, the retreat center, Hope Springs, Peebles, OH, is beautiful.  Not a building was located and built without asking the land first--for permission and where to locate the building.  Everything at the site is geared toward love of the land and caring for our environment.  We are served fabulous vegetarian food for every meal--all beautifully presented.

Our dance highlights are each evening, when we blindfold ourselves and dance to the perfect music mix that Roger has planned for that night.  Not being able to see creates a safety and unselfconsiousness, and moves us inward so that we are free to respond to the music in whatever way it moves us.  Roger plays gorgeous music, throbbing tribal music and fun music--all to take us inward and move our spirits to dance--surrendering to the pulse of the moment.  It can be transcending.  I have had some amazing experiences that were entirely unbidden, they just came.  One was that our baby who was born in 1964 and lived 2 weeks, "dropped" into my arms, and I was able to hold her and rock her and then let her go.  I had not been with her when she died, and it seemed she gave me the  opportunity to heal that experience.  Roger and Deb create such a safe space for each person to go to that place that will be most transforming.  The dance retreat is life-changing for most, if not all, of us.

ANGER

Anger bubbles up

and remains, simmering at

the surface; what for?

Projections slay the

person opposite, as if

they are he, not she.

Be the witness, who

notices, and lives on the

still side of the fence.

cjl 07/28/2010

Slow Time

I was reading Newsweek magazine today, and an article was talking about "Slow Reading."  Apparently June 21st (the longest day of the year) was selected as the day we should all take time to do some Slow Reading.  I was immediately reminded of the summer days I spent as a child, lying on the couch reading.  Sometimes I might read all afternoon, especially if it were hot enough, as we, or no one else we knew, had air conditioning.  I felt no sense of rush or having to get through a certain number of chapters, I was engrossed in my book, relishing every moment. 

The article took me to reflecting on my recent 5 days spent in Peebles, OH, at a Transformational Dance Retreat, held at the beautiful Hope Springs Retreat Center, and led by Roger Sams and Deborah Adele.  (Roger led a mini version of this retreat over Mother's Day here in Duluth at Yoga North Studio, the studio that Deb Adele co-owns.)  I will tell more about the dancing in another blog, but I was mindful of my longing for space to reflect and to be creative.  We were given that time and space during the retreat.  There is much time left for us to walk on the beautiful grounds, meditate, nap, study ourselves, journal, write poetry, and do art--the retreat nurtures creativity and reflection.  It was slow time.   I felt my heart and body and mind relax and expand, taking in the present moment fully.  I felt drawn to create, which satisfies my soul and connects me to that something which is greater than I--call it God, the Universe, One, or Allah. 

I made a commitment to myself to plan time for retreat several times a year.  May we all find a way to carve out quiet and space to slow down and let whatever will bubble up from our souls to do so.

Tapas or Self-Discipline

Staying in the fire

until the blessing creates

deep, abiding peace.

Written at the Transformational Dance Retreat  July, 2010

Namaste

Attachment Grace Period

I've been thinking about our move to our new home last October.  We left a house we had remodeled to suit us, and which was on beautiful land with lovely landscaping.  It was "perfect" for us, and I was grateful for the beautiful years we had in that home (23 years).  Yet, once we moved, I realized I have not missed that house for one minute, which greatly surprised me.  However, I did notice that, without being conscious of doing this, I was trying to bring my old home and garden with me--I would replace the old with the new, but it would be like the old!  Of course, this was not possible, but it made it difficult to move forward, especially because I was unaware I was attempting to do this!  Once I was aware, I could laugh at myself and remind myself that this was a fresh beginning.  I've thought about this, and I think I needed a period of transition--a grace period, if you will--between our old life and our new life.  My psyche had not yet fully made the transition.  We had moved willingly and happily and physically, but my whole self needed more time to come into this new space.  Once I was aware of this, I began to intentionally create my new life in my new home.  I don't know if others have experienced this phenomenom, but I would be interested in your moving stories.

Real Love

I had a reminder this week from the words of Swami Satchinanda that are worth repeating.  Swami Satchinanda was sent from India to the US by his guru Swami Sivananda to teach us about Integral Yoga.  Swami Satchinanda left his body a few years ago, but his wise words linger on.  This week his words are:

Love the Never-changing One
“Many people say, ‘I love you,’ but is that real love? If it is really deep love, it can never change. It cannot be taken back. By loving, you have given yourself completely; you are not separate then. You become one with the beloved, and you always think in terms of the beloved. You do everything for the sake of the beloved. These days, love is only a desire, a temporary liking; it’s superficial. If the color of the beloved’s hair turns gray, the love fades. If the weight of the wallet is reduced, the weight of the love is also reduced—because this so-called love is based on superficial things. It doesn’t go further deep into the heart, which never changes. You must love the never-changing One in a person. Then it won’t fade away.
“God bless you. OM Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.”

I am sorry to say that I forget this in the heat of my interactions with others, especially my husband.  I am enjoying catching myself beginning to react in the old way, and reminding myself to soften and open and be in love--of course, it works! 

This is the meaning of the yogic "Namaste."
I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light and of peace.
When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me,
We are one.  Namaste

(I'm trying to paste his Weekly Words of  Wisdom link onto my Recommended Links but have so far not been successful.)

Hope

Yesterday was  Father's Day, and I made my husband a card that said how lucky our kids were that he always seemed to have hope, no matter how badly they were behaving, especially in their teen years.  I would be the one despairing and taking the situation at the moment into the future (which predicted a bad outcome).  He would remind me to be hopeful and to think of them in 25 years, that they would be fine--after all they came from a nice home and had us as parents.  (That was my fear--that I was a bad parent.)  My attitude would snag me into over reacting and to anticipating the worst.  His attitude would allow him to parent them with judiciousness, viewing them as whole persons, which meant they would listen to him more than they would to me.  In the Yamas and Niyamas, yoga's ethical guidelines which are a roadmap for living, the first Niyama is Purity.  One of its qualities is to enter each moment purely, letting it have a beginning, a middle, and an end.  I was dragging the past into my moment, as well as jumping into the future.  My husband was more successfully trusting the moment.  I still think our kids were fortunate to have two parents, especially one who felt hope for them and their lives, even when they were struggling and misbehaving. 

"Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without words,

And never stops at all...."

Emily Dickinson

Fiercely Surrender

Today is my 75th birthday, which is a pretty big deal.  Since it's Flag Day, I am posting this in blue.  Flag day used to be on all of the calendars, but that is not so common anymore.   

I had an intesting day.  While lying on my black strip doing yoga this morning, my middle back began to spasm as I was attempting to do bridge pose, and I was unable to do it  Then while walking from my car to my Pilates session, I tripped and fell flat out on the sidewalk, first hitting my right shoulder and then my right knee.  It hurt!  No broken bones!  Several people came to my aid, and I figured out I was hurting, but really OK (no, I did not need an ambulance).  I am grateful they came to my aid, however.  My longtime friend took me out for lunch at my favorite restaurant in the Duluth area, and we had delicious food and good conversation.  I have to admit, I was much cheerier leaving the restaurant than I was entering it.

My point is--how do I navigate this being in old age, while at the same time being a vital and engaged person?  When do I give in and when do I fight to return to my former level of functioning?  How do I do this dance gracefully?  I have found that physically I am not the same person I was even a few years ago--there are just too many changes in my body.  I also notice that my children are more attentive, and I am gratefully accepting this loving change in our relationship.  How do I flow with the changes and move into a new stage of my development?

I realized this is a time in my life when I want to give back.  Erik Erickson named it "generativity."  It's not about "making it" anymore, it's about reaping the harvest.  My psychotherapy practice looks different--it's not so busy and intense.  I am looking at different ways to use my compassion and therapy skills.  Being less busy gives me the space to go deeper into my yoga studies and, I hope, to help others benefit from my explorations.  I am currently preparing my lectures and handouts for  teaching the Chakras at Yoga North, the studio I am a part of.  Each time I teach, I get to go a little deeper myself--what could be more rich? 

Dealing with my physical changes has been a huge challenge.  I want to keep as fit and active as I can, while at the same time surrendering to new limits of what I can do--trying to find the blessing in every step--no matter which part of the dance I am currently in.  My bliss would be to surrender to every moment, finding sweetness in each moment--neither longing for the past nor anticipating the future.  I'm not there yet, but I have experienced this sweetness, so there is much hope! 

May you find yourself gracefully dancing--knowing when to stay and when to yield.

Spanning the Great Divide

I just returned from Boulder CO and a sandplay therapy conference.  We were busy from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm.  The conference theme was Spanning the Great Divide.  Our lives evolve in spirals I think--we find ourselves at an edge, where we're stuck and uncomfortable--we're dealing with the "great divide."  At this place, there is a tension of the opposites (good/bad, male/female, body/mind, warrior/gentleness, water/fire, earth/spirit, for some examples).  We need this tension, because it creates the energy that enables us to make what has been unconscious conscious, and helps us take that "leap of faith" into more wholeness.  As in yoga, can we stay in this place until the blessing/growth appears (Tapas, which means fire, self-discipline)?  A note--I believe we are never finished with this work.  So don't be surprised if you find yourself once again at that hard place--after you've done so much work and grown so much--it's just the spiral of life.  Carl Jung said, "Wholeness is realized for a moment only," but when we experience this wholeness, we feel it and know it.  In sandplay therapy, we describe this as a numinous moment. This transformation requires our total mind - body - spirit.  Our work  asks that we be both flexible and strong and concentrated--that we have flow and balance.  It's a beautiful, if also messy, process. 

Let me know what your experiences have been.

Healing With Sandplay Therapy

I remember playing in the sandbox at my Grandma's house, mixing in water, forming shapes, digging into the sand.  As a little girl, I often made "cakes and pies."  I felt so free as I played in the sandbox--I could respond to whatever impulse I had at the moment--it was pure joy.  No wonder I became a sandplay therapist--the process spoke to something deep within me.  The contemporary of Freud, Carl Jung, found that, when he gave himself permission to build castles and buildings and roads and rivers, he was directly,connecting with his 11 year old self--his structures were a bridge between his adult and his child, and they somehow healed a breach between the two.  Carl's job was to respond to his deep need to do this work of his unconscious--even though he didn't know why this seemed so important--and his own innate momentum to heal did the rest.

When a client decides to let her or himself "play" in the sand, in the free and protected space of the therapist, therapy room and the sandtray itself, this healing process can be engaged.  As the client chooses miniatures from all parts of life and mythology and places them in the sandtray--using either wet or dry sand, and digging into or molding the sand or not, the parts of themselves that need maturing or healing or bridging are embodied in the creative process in the sandtray and a journey is begun.  This journey can end in one touching the Self, that most sacred part that connects with all life or energy.  Pieces of oneself that have been disconnected and unknown are brought into the whole of the person.  Sandplay therapy has the potential to heal preverbal and very early hurts, as well as to clarify current phase-of-life concerns.  It is an exciting and gratifying journey, and I am honored to be the sacred witness to it.

My Therapy Philosophy

Hi, I'd like you to learn more about me and my philosophy of psychotherapy. 

"I believe each of us has the right to
become the very essence
of who we are meant to be."

Each of us has an innate drive to transcend and transform.  Therapy is meant to help people deal with whatever may be keeping them stuck, so that this natural push to grow is freed. 

I believe that each person has a right to decided his or her own therapy path, whether that is a few sessions or a longer, deeper kind of therapy.  Results can be seen in more positive relationships, enjoyable work, good health, feelings of fulfillment and creativity, and a sense of a spiritual connection to oneself and the world. 

I work with adults, couples, teens and children.  I have a special interest in loss and grief and health issues.  I have helped many of my clients deal with their physical and/or sexual abuse.  We frequently deal with stage-of-life or developmental passage issues.  Each stage carries its own fears and opportunities.  I encourage people to explore their family and cultural backgrounds as a means to better understanding the present. 

Yoga is a central part of my own life, and I use its teachings and explorations in my own life and in my practice of therapy. 

In my home above the St. Louis River, I have tried to create a comfortable, beautiful and private place for those who come to see me.  Because I no longer bill insurance, I have been able to lower my fees, and I have a sliding fee scale.  I am comitted to maintaining my own emotional, physical and mental health, and I also participate in regular consultation with my peers. 

To contact email me at calarsen@charter.net or call me at 2218-733-9903.

Kaleidoscope

Like a kaleidoscope,

we tumble apart

and then come

together

in a new and

beautiful design.