tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62025571477695088112024-02-19T09:19:29.927-06:00Feel Better - Connect With LifeTalk Therapy ~ Expressive Therapy ~ Sandplay Therapy ~ Bilateral Stimulation/EMDRCatharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-90361174628664184742014-01-29T12:21:00.001-06:002014-01-29T12:22:24.650-06:00Stuttering Tools<br />
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I have seen my speech therapist, Kay, 3 times, counting the intake evaluation. I am so glad I have seen Kay, as she has given me "tools" that I can call on when I am speaking, and especially if I am stuttering. They are ones I can practice as well, so that they will be more at the front of my mind if/when I need them. Assuming you are all interested, here they are:<br />
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1. Proactively I can plan to slow my speech down as I begin talking. For example, I am reading scripture in my church in February. When I begin to read, I will start to speak slowly.<br />
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2. If I feel I am about to stutter on a word, or many, I can "pull back" and then ease into the word. An example might be on the word "statistics," (I never could pronounce this word). As I feel the stutter coming on, I will soften, open, and slowly pronounce the word, lingering a tiny bit on the sounds, especially the first one ("st…."). This allows my breath to keep flowing, and my words flow on my breath.<br />
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3. Then finally, if I do stutter on a word, say "conference," I can stop, go back, and say the word again by easing into it--they call this "cancelling out the stutter." <br />
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My history of stuttering has been so linked in with my fears that I would stutter, which was shameful to me, that that in itself promoted stuttering. At those times, I am fearful, tight and gripping (not good for a nice flow of breath for my words to ride on). So now if I do occasionally stutter, instead of feeling fear and tightening up, I can say to myself, "Oh good, I get to practice my stuttering tools!" I guess I'd call that a little Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Well, I am a psychologist.Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-16013203090824658862013-12-03T17:42:00.003-06:002013-12-03T17:42:55.050-06:00PD Journey ~ SpeechInteresting stuff happens when you have Parkinson's Disease--and everyone's symptoms are unique. <br />
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I stuttered badly for most of my life until I was in my 50's. Then, through love and courage and an I-Really-Don't-Care attitude, I became a non-stutterer, which was wonderful! <br />
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Now, I am beginning to stutter again, and this time I can blame it on my PD, which is in the brain and can appear in so many different ways. It has also affected my pronunciation a teeny bit, and my singing voice. So my wonderful Nurse Practitioner, Linda Anderson, who specializes in movement disorders, has referred me to a speech therapist. I see her on Monday, December 9th. This speech therapist has a great deal of background in PD, for which I am grateful. <br />
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I'll let you know. A new step in my journey!<br />
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Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-34865964430536901432013-11-20T03:40:00.001-06:002013-11-20T03:40:48.508-06:00Love and ShameWritten in the middle of the night, as I can't sleep right now. <br />
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I am ashamed of the United Methodist Church! A Methodist minister is in court and being sentenced (I haven't heard yet) for officiating at the marriage of his son and his son's partner, a gay man. In the Methodist church, clergy are not allowed to marry any gay or lesbian people. If they are found out, they will be punished. This particular man could not say that he would never do it again, because the majority of his children are gay. What a blessing this father and pastor is. The cost of loving and opening, and following through in that love with action, is terrible!<br />
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Even though the vote FOR welcoming, which includes marrying, GLBT persons fully into the life of the church, gets closer and closer to acceptance, it is not there yet. One reason is that unlike some other denominations, the Methodist church is a world-wide church. All are joined together, rather than being individual churches. Many of the churches in other countries, particularly Africa, seem to be where we were some years ago--discriminating against those who are GLBT. <br />
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Still, it is difficult to think that we in the United Methodist Church cannot practice our Christian love and mercy by loving and including ALL in the full life of the church. How can we not? We are all ONE! <br />
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Which means--how am I going to love and be merciful to those who believe and practice something that seems so narrow and hateful and judgemental to me. Now I am the judging one. That just proves we are one--in more ways than one (no pun intended). <br />
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I will try to open my heart to them, knowing I, too, am narrow. AND--I will continue to speak out; I will continue to celebrate gay, lesbian, bisexual, and <br />
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transgender people. My heart warms when I see them loving each other--out of the closet. I have been privileged to know many as friends, and to have heard many of their stories, some of which are heartbreaking.<br />
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Open my heart and mind Holy One, to love and exclude none--no one. Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-5137656012934656192013-09-17T16:22:00.000-05:002013-09-18T15:56:11.321-05:00Good Grief!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNe2a6yfF6N8BD0yfzOH3dEv188ccKMiOb7yUfZT5khI5AUG4DxVLyi1KOUZYGVCBRoeCUAo_GYSrmzJicyqFbomAcLyag1_AqKaWFjGeSXMJ25TEHTCN-m5SeDsRL9XvCRrJk1tiPySIn/s1600/love-426x430.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNe2a6yfF6N8BD0yfzOH3dEv188ccKMiOb7yUfZT5khI5AUG4DxVLyi1KOUZYGVCBRoeCUAo_GYSrmzJicyqFbomAcLyag1_AqKaWFjGeSXMJ25TEHTCN-m5SeDsRL9XvCRrJk1tiPySIn/s320/love-426x430.jpg" width="317" /></a>Boy, it's been a loooong time since I've posted anything. <br />
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Lately, I have been feeling that I need to take time to grieve something in my life. It's not that my life is not good, maybe even great! I am doing so many things I dreamed I would do when I became a crone. I'm teaching chair yoga, planning to teach the Chakras again, singing in my choir, trike-ing, gardening, reading (not enough), walking with my walking sticks, doing yoga, going to the Parkinson's Dance Group, attending the PD Support group, seeing clients, seeing friends and family. I dreamed of becoming a teacher and a sage when I became old, and I do believe I am. Yet, as I have been meditating, the thought I needed to grieve kept popping into my mind. I trust those thoughts that come to me while meditating. <br />
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I could grieve the fact that I have Parkinson's Disease, which is said to gradually or quickly progress. So far, I am pretty fortunate in that my symptoms aren't too bad, and I can still do the things I want to do, although I need to be more careful, especially balancing. <br />
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I could grieve the fact that I had a very painful foot this summer, which prohibited me from much exercising. It is much better now, but it may never completely go away. <br />
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I need to grieve these things. But one change in my life seems more sad and scary.<br />
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I believe I need to grieve the fact that my dear husband has mild cognitive impairment, and, as it progresses, we will be faced with losses and a need to cope differently. I fear I could "lose" him. This is the man who has been by my side for 55+ years. Who has supported every endeavor I have launched myself into. This includes returning to school to get my M.A., singing (and rehearsing) in the opera and symphony choruses, participating in 500 hours of Hatha yoga teacher training, my teaching the Yamas and the Niyamas, the Chakras at Yoga North. Going to India on a pilgrimage this last February. And so much more!<br />
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This is the man who never cared if, or how much, I stuttered--even to the point of making phone calls for me. This is a man who always believed in our children, no matter how "bad" they were as teens and young adults. And he was right, they are all lovely and loving people. <br />
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But as he searches for words, needs help in understanding complicated issues, perhaps becomes less motivated to go out and "do," forgetting to turn off the lights (a small thing), I find myself becoming impatient at times. I want to be as loving and supportive as he has been--always. My impatience comes from fear--fear of losing him; fear of losing our life as we know it;, fear of being more and more on my own (and maybe "failing"). <br />
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I need to take time to let myself feel these fears and the sadness with compassion, and then open my compassionate and loving heart to him and to life as it is. This will also help me/us enjoy all of the riches we do have for as long as we have. <br />
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Namaste` We are OneCatharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-80404843276700295392013-06-26T11:24:00.001-05:002013-06-26T11:24:46.329-05:00PROJECTIONS AND "CRUD BUBBLES"<br />
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My last post was about my pilgrimage to India, and my thoughts about my fall while there. The fall, and what it could teach me, remained in my thoughts. I learned it touched a deep place within me--a place I thought was no longer there.<br />
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Deborah Adele, my guru, called those deep, dark places "<i>crud bubbles</i>," and I totally agree! I tell my clients, even reassure them, that "our stuff is our stuff," or, more crudely put, "our shit is our shit." If we think we'll be forever finished, we're kidding ourselves. Here's how my crud bubble came to light.<br />
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While in India, I was conscious of my age and also my Parkinson's. I wanted to demonstrate that I was fit and that I could keep up with the others. I am fit, <i>and</i> I do have some limitations. There were times when I joyously overcompensated, which can lead me to not look where I'm going. (Not to mention that trifocal glasses also interfere with seeing where I'm going.) But those times can lead to a fall. I learned that the overcompensation was coming from a dark place in my chitta brain (or unconscious brain). <br />
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Deborah and others had taken over the job of working with my travel insurance company to plan my trip home, as I now required reclining seats, a wheel chair, and extra help with luggage and getting around. I asked Deborah if she thought I was <i>"incompetent,"</i> as I felt the fact that others were doing the planning, meant that they thought I was incapable of doing so. Of course, that is not what they thought. Still, I felt "less-than" in some way. I journaled and tried to get to the bottom of things. Then, while meditating one day, the word "INCOMPETENT" popped into my mind and remained, resonating strongly--I had touched on the real issue--it had been hiding in plain sight. I was PROJECTING onto Deborah and the others my own shadow that had been lurking deep within me. Shadow sides are usually not comfortable, and we'd rather not know of them. Not knowing forces the shadow to pop up in an untimely way--such as my fall, which took me out of comission the last week I spent in India. It's like a slap on the head. Wake up! Look! Know! Now you have to deal with its fallout. Better to learn of its origin. <br />
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It would have felt shameful, if it hadn't also been so funny. Live and learn. Thank you meditation.<br />
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Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-10346143110659355342013-04-14T15:34:00.003-05:002013-04-14T15:34:31.825-05:00Purashcharana Journey So Far<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Before I left India, I began doing a Purashcharana practice; I'm hoping to say my mantra, as I roll my mala beads, counting each time I complete a circle of the 108 beads. My goal is to reach 40,000 times. I'm now up to 700+. But I have encountered a few struggles.<br />
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The main one is that rolling through my mala beads, repeating my mantra silently over and over, and counting, churned up my Parkinson's Disease response. My dyskinesia, a kind of writhing movements, kicked in, and I also stiffened up involuntarily. I kept at it, wondering how I could make it better and more peaceful. After all, I'm used to meditating silently and I normally find it very peaceful--this was not!<br />
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Someone suggested I buy a "clicker," like one would use to count golf strokes. I did. I bought a nifty little clicker that does the counting for me. (I look at the tabulation after I am through meditating.) It works! I can now meditate more swiftly and peacefully. <br />
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Thank you Jordan and Chad!Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-25749730196749436392013-03-17T15:48:00.001-05:002013-03-17T15:48:06.862-05:00Ma Gunga~Serene, Strong, Steady<br />
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Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-52781713068662032432013-03-17T15:42:00.002-05:002013-03-17T15:42:34.373-05:00FIRST THOUGHTS AFTER INDIAHow can I talk about my trip to India? I can easily say it was a fabulous trip. I loved the vegetarian Indian food. The 8 of us from Duluth had a wonderful time together. I am pleased with how I coped with the various conditions of bucket baths, bucket laundry, various toilet situations. The lectures brought my outside experiences inside of me. <br />
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Ma Gunga (the Ganges River), flowed right by our Himalayan Institute campus in Allahabad. Even if it is polluted, it is a beautiful river, and sacred to the Indian people. I can see why. Its current is serene, strong and steady. I can feel that connection within me, especially during my meditation time. I want to be serene, strong and steady. Traveling to the Sangam, or the confluence of the Gunga, the Yamuna (which flows to the Taj Mahal), and the mystical Sarasvati (which disappeared into the ground) rivers, is the spot where the drop of nectar from the gods fell. Although I did not dunk under, I did wade in, and I collected a tiny bottle of water to put on my altar. It is supposed to transform one and take away negative karma. <br />
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I am still processing and letting the trip work within me. My pilgrimage became a pilgrimage into myself, as, 2/3 of the way through the trip, I missed a step and fell hard on a marble floor, and was laid up for the rest of the trip. I missed the historic temples in Khajaraho, shopping in Khajaraho, and flying home on the same airplane as my Duluth friends. Instead I confronted many of my edges, my expectations, places my ego has held on to, as if they were who I really am. What was I to learn from this experience? <br />
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I know it happened because it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Plus, I was in an amazing and holy place, where the people and the grounds vibrated with sacred energy. I was held in this crucible of love and trust. Everyone was so loving and kind. I was even carried around, especially at first.<br />
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I am not my body, I am not my Parkinson's, I am not my memory, I am not my prowess, I am not my intelligence, I am not my accomplishments, I am not my failures. "The perfect infinite God is my true Self."<br />
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Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-23914445976447558402013-01-22T15:28:00.000-06:002013-01-22T15:28:13.450-06:00Pilgrimage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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SOON, I will be leaving for 3 weeks in India to experience a pilgrimage to the Kumbha Mela festival. It is a sacred and auspicious time that occurs every 12 years. I believe this is the 144th year, so it is even more auspicious. Millions and millions come to be a part of it and to experience healing in the Ganges River, or Mother Gunga. I'm both excited and somewhat nervous, mostly about the looooong flights. But I know it will be life changing, whatever happens! How lucky am I to be able to go, and go with friends from Yoga North Duluth, and to have the Chairman and Spiritual Head of the Himalayan Institute, Pandit Rajmani Tigunait, PhD, be our guru and our guide, and to stay on the grounds of the Himalayan Institute while in India. Something to do before I die (which I'm not anticipating in the near future). </div>
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Now to figure out a way to get my sleeping bag into my suitcase!</div>
Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-65985335943164541152012-12-16T15:14:00.000-06:002012-12-16T15:14:43.307-06:00DARK TO LIGHT Although nothing can wash away the horror of the slaying of children and teachers in Connecticut, I find reminders like these quotes from Rumi comforting. I believe they are the truth.<br />
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<i>The wound is the place where the light enters you.</i> </div>
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<i>The moon stays bright when it doesn't avoid the night.</i></div>
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<i>The wailing of broken hearts is the doorway to God.</i></div>
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<i>The cure for pain is in the pain.</i></div>
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Blessings to all who suffer.</div>
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Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-51361797779470764182012-12-02T17:01:00.000-06:002012-12-02T17:01:08.782-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Service of HOPE AND HEALING December 18th at Hope United Methodist Church. Services are at 3:00pm and at 5:30pm. This is a service for those for whom this season is one of sadness and loneliness--it's hard to be "out of sync" with the rest of the USA. You are not alone. Through readings, prayers, and music, we hope you find peace and comfort and hope and go from dark into light. Christina Cortruvo will be playing her beautiful harp for each service. <br />
301 W. St. Marie St. Duluth, MN<br />
218-724-2266 office@hopeumcmn.org<br />
www.hopeumcduluth.org<br />
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<i>Hope is grief's best music. Anonymous</i>Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-8739964752609224242012-12-02T16:43:00.001-06:002012-12-02T16:43:28.161-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is a better poster of the movie I just wrote about. <br />Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-67359539319180525702012-12-02T16:38:00.001-06:002012-12-02T16:38:29.730-06:00Yesterday we went to see "The Sessions," a most amazing movie. It is based on the writings of Mark O'Brien, who is a quadriplegic, and who wants to be able to have sexual intercourse at least once in his life. Helen Hunt plays his sex surrogate therapist. I'll say no more. I laughed and also wept. I think what touched me so deeply was his complete vulnerability. In a way, he couldn't help being so vulnerable, given the fact that his muscles didn't work. But, he remained open to life and allowed his true feelings to surface, and, almost in spite of himself, was filled with hope. <br />
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Oh that I can bow down and surrender to my life and allow myself to be as vulnerable. <br />
<img alt="The Sessions" height="320" src="http://ssl.gstatic.com/movies/tbn_d811aa2dee8c95f4.jpg?size=80x107&web" style="border: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221);" width="203" />Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-75038227662411004132012-10-15T16:41:00.002-05:002012-10-15T16:41:43.065-05:00ITCH<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Generally one wants to be still while meditating, as this facilitates going deeper. So, if you have an itch, don't scratch; you learn that it eventually goes away. Same with those thoughts that keep running through our minds while meditating. Don't scratch--just notice and let them move on through. (Note: reacting in some way to them would be the same as scratching them.) <br />
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Enjoy the practice!Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-22935459213189151442012-10-15T16:12:00.005-05:002012-10-15T16:12:53.809-05:00Exciting Class<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">It's not too late to sign up for the exciting self-illumunating study of the yamas and niyamas, yoga's ethical guidelines for life--a life of integrity, joy, and freedom. Check the website at Yoga North Duluth.com for details and to register. Our book is Deborah Adele's fabulous book on these guidelines--"The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice"--and the class is taught by yours truly.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">The first class is October 28th and will be held on the 3rd Sunday of each month following through May from 6:30 - 8:00 pm. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; text-align: left;">I would love to have you join our study!</span>Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-7510309246226501032012-09-24T14:40:00.001-05:002012-09-24T14:41:35.909-05:00KARMA YOGA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The other day, I was feeling pressured to "get all of the things/tasks done before I had to leave the house. My spouse has been somewhat under the weather, so that added to my list. I could feel me "gripping" in my body. Thinking that would not do, plus it wasn't any fun, I decided to practice "Karma yoga." Everything I did, and was going to do, was in service--to my spouse, to others, to humanity. What a lovely switch I experienced! Peaceful, even joyful. Every time I felt myself tightening, I just remembered to breathe and that I was doing karma yoga. My tasks were accomplished easily and peacefully. Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-63287335633339688902012-08-25T12:14:00.001-05:002012-08-27T17:15:58.194-05:00TrustI've been thinking about ways to deal with unpleasant things in my life. Just naming them "unpleasant" reveals my attachments to not wanting them at all. Some of my Parkinson's symptoms are very unpleasant and even painful and do affect my life. Luckily, they seem to come and go. Lately, we've also had some real worries about certain family members, fearing for them. <br />
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Turning to my yogic philosophy--everything is good and perfect--which is not always easy for me to believe, I am experimenting with a new practice. When I am confronted with pain, unpleasantness, fears and worries, I thank God. Here's how it might go: "Thank you God for my (specific symptom here) Parkinson's Disease. I don't know what good will come from it, but I thank you; I trust you God." Or, "Thank you God for (name here) problems (state specific problems). I don't know what good will come from it for (that person), but I thank you and I trust you God." <br />
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Whatever concerns me doesn't go away, but I am lifted and eased in a small way, and more open to what is. Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-19210212891423557002012-07-31T14:56:00.006-05:002012-07-31T14:56:52.543-05:00"HEART-BURN"While meditating, I experienced heartburn. "Heart burn" is an apt name, as it was at my heart center. As I breathed into it, I wondered when in my life I may have experienced pain that burned a place in my heart. I recalled the extreme, and extremely painful, bitterness I felt in my heart after our little Karen died. That bitterness was so hard to bear, it had such a grip on me, I couldn't let go of it. (Or I had such a grip on it?) Did I "burn" a hole of bitterness into my heart? I was released from that pain--instantaneously-- through prayer. But the effects may linger. <br />
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I can welcome my "heart-burn" as a painful, but truthful, reminder of such a momentous time in my life. I can feel deep compassion for me and for that wound in my heart. It reminds me of the immense and overwhelming pain I felt, as well as the beautiful and grace-filled healing I experienced. <br />
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Now, for more grace ~<br />
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<br />Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-44386792744933631742012-07-22T16:04:00.003-05:002012-07-22T16:07:03.687-05:00WE ARE ONESomething like the Aurora, CO killings is so hard to talk about. Really, what can one say? What can one say to those who lost treasured members of their families, dear friends, or who were injured themselves? What about those who were, and are,traumatized by this inexplainable and horrible event?<br />
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We lost a baby who lived for 2 weeks, and that was so hard to bear at the time. Now I think of her birth and death in a totally different light, but I couldn't do that then. </div>
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Yet I am comforted by remembering that we are all one--EVERYTHING is God/Supreme Consciousness. The image that mosts comforts me is the one of the vast ocean--water as far as one can see and as deep as one can imagine. We are drops of water, and when we fall into that ocean, we merge completely, our individuality disappears, and we are one with all that is holy. </div>
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May those who are suffering from this horrible event, eventually find comfort in family and friends, and</div>
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faith in remembering their loved ones live on in the oneness of all, as we are part of that same oneness. </div>
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Blessings and Love.</div>
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As I was meditating yesterday morning, my mouth and toe were moving slightly and involuntarily due to Parkinson's. Then deep in my heart I had a flash--I am God, and I am Love, no matter what is happening on the outside. I have "known" this for a long time, but in this moment I experienced it!Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-30185623637649316892012-07-18T12:18:00.002-05:002012-07-18T12:18:52.463-05:00"Ahhhhhh"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"Take a deep and full breath and say Ahhhhh as loud and as long as you can." (From a speech therapist)<br />
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Yesterday I participated in an all-day evaluation for Parkinson's disease at the Struthers Parkinson Disease Center in Golden Valley, MN. It was immensely informative, overwhelming, and a long day. I saw a neurologist, OT, PT, speech therapist, social worker, and nurse.<br />
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In Parkinson's, there is no longer enough dopamine in the brain to send messages to the muscles so they can do what they're supposed to do. This causes restriction, and movements are smaller. The disease is incurable and progressive, and one's individual journey is unknown. But there are lots of things one can keep doing to try and stay as mobile and healthy as long as possible, including making Big movements and Big sounds. <br />
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It is easy to live in fear. I just read a wonderful book, "Chants of a Lifetime" by Krishna Das, who has been called, "the chant master of American yoga." I was moved by many things he said, as he described his not-so-easy journey into more ease and surrender. "...to be submersed in the Loving Presence is called surrender...it happens as we ripen in love...a place free from fear or expectation." (p. 170) We don't need to hold on to love, because love is everywhere--within and without--we are that love. <br />
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Can I remember these simple, but profound truths as I journey on?Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-15852220160793988052012-06-25T20:36:00.002-05:002012-06-25T20:37:54.268-05:00Farewell to Yogiraj Achala, Spiritual Teacher<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is a picture of Yogiraj Achala (nee Charles Bates), who left his body unexpectedly on June 18th, 2012. He was a spiritual teacher in the Hatha Yoga tradition, to me and to many, many others--some who had studied devotedly with him for over 30 years. Yogiraj had studied with Swami Rama, who brought Hatha Yoga to the West from India. I had the lovely privilege of being a student of Yogiraj's, attending workshops at the Yoga North Duluth studio, as well as a couple of silence retreats. Yogiraj was a brilliant man, who explored and expanded for our western minds the concepts of Hatha yoga. He taught me so much about yogic philosophy and about meditation. His presence for me was as an amazing spiritual teacher, and a gentle man, who provided a crucible for my growth.<br />
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I had the amazing good fortune to attend the ancient Vedic ritual that proceeded his cremation this Saturday in Minneapolis, MN. The Vedic priest chanted and guided us as Yogiraj's sons covered him with herbs, and ghee, and incense, and fragrant woods, and I'm not sure what else, preparing his body for cremation. He invited us all to use this moment to forgive Yogiraj, or for us to forgive ourselves, and let it all go, so that we were free to let Yogiraj go, and Yogiraj was free to speed to his next and "joyous" transition. When these offerings were complete, insuring that Yogiraj had everything he needed (and acknowledging that he loved good food), the priest instructed us in our chants as his sons opened the door to the crematorium and his coffin was guided into the fires. <br />
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Later in the afternoon, we attended his memorial service--a service of many colors and many faiths (including a Tibetan monk, an Imam, a Jewish man, the Vedic priest, Christian evangelicals). There were many speakers, family and others, sharing their love and connection with Yogiraj. Many members of his amazing family, sang and played instruments. It was a wondrous occasion. Vv, his wife, was so loving and gracious, and even nurturing to all who were there. <br />
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We adjourned to enjoy the amazingly delicious vegan food in the fellowship of the church, The First Unitarian Universalist Church. It was a long and momentous day.<br />
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I thank you Yogiraj for being my beautiful teacher. The first time I met you, was the first time I meditated when my mind never wandered from my mantra--not even once. I know that was because of your amazing ability to hold the space. I look forward to meeting you in a new way in my life and meditations. All my love to you, Yogiraj.<br />
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(The picture above was the one on his memorial service bulletin.Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-51481910188288663722012-06-14T07:56:00.000-05:002012-06-14T07:56:02.117-05:00BIRTHDAYS AND BIKING<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy Birthday to me! Today I'm 77--it's a big deal. I just returned from biking--OK, triking. I hurried home because I didn't want to get hit by lightning, so it wasn't as long a ride as I had hoped. I have a tradition of celebrating my birthday with an early morning bike ride. <br />
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I laughed this morning as I remembered going over my handle bars (regular bike) on my 65th-birthday-early-morning-ride on the Lake Walk. For some reason I held onto my handle bars, so that miraculously, I didn't go flying. After I rested for a moment and saw that I was all right, I got back on my bike and biked home to our home that was then on Park Point. I did say, "I bet I'm the only person in the world who went over her handle bars today on her 65th birthday!" <br />
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Many birthdays, we biked up the shore from Brighton Beach and had lunch at the New Scenic Cafe, a favorite ride (and food stop) for me. <br />
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I am lucky to be able to bike, now trike, and to have such a beautiful city to bike in, all close to where I live. <br />
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Fly the flag today--it is Flag Day as well. I give thanks for my sweet life.Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-36584233083970365582012-06-08T10:21:00.000-05:002012-06-08T10:21:50.337-05:00Testing PreoccupationsIt's been so long since I have written in my blog. My life has been taken up with dealing with health issues. Nothing serious, but still lots of tests and evaluations--for both Lauren, my husband and me. Somehow I became preoccupied with them and their results, so that I didn't feel I had room for "other" in my daily life. I am getting a better feeling for older people whose lives are filled with health issues. <br />
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I know, I'm old already, but most of the time I don't feel old like "them." Mmmm...what happened to "We are all one?" <br />
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I have also traveled--once to Seattle and once to Berkley, and had company for the weekend. Plus, I was able to purchase and then plant my pots, which look so lovely--that is such a satisfying activity! So I have been busy.<br />
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I have another teeny test later this morning. I would like to do better at joyously living in each moment--tests and all! No sense in getting worried without something definite to worry about.Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6202557147769508811.post-20300068352834697792012-04-27T15:20:00.000-05:002012-04-27T15:20:15.312-05:00MICROSCOPIC LEANINGS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjRGFqlEV7eoTQsvRGRZvwroxy6aE3pbY7k9SqRl0lYkbx5yp6xLgyDcMZKpf-YZ5h-BBoNAGTCdI63BvRpPnH_jU8FT7XUf3kXkuYgRkFZenquJz2Hzgp3vKjqr8-JL1CcyN7d5yexAAS/s1600/microscope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjRGFqlEV7eoTQsvRGRZvwroxy6aE3pbY7k9SqRl0lYkbx5yp6xLgyDcMZKpf-YZ5h-BBoNAGTCdI63BvRpPnH_jU8FT7XUf3kXkuYgRkFZenquJz2Hzgp3vKjqr8-JL1CcyN7d5yexAAS/s1600/microscope.jpg" /></a>Musings while meditating. </div>
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I have been diagnosed with microscopic colitis--microscopic meaning it can only be "seen" in a biopsy. So tiny, and yet it can wreak havoc with one's digestive system, which in turn influences what one does and doesn't do--the domino effect ripples throughout one's life. I thought this is a metaphor for life as well.<div>
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What microscopic habits or samskaras ripple throughout my life, infecting my whole system? I notice how I ever so slightly lean in toward something, or minutely lean away from something I wish to avoid. I am barely leaning into my breath, but that ripples throughout my nervous system and my muscles in tiny waves--each one influencing the next, eventually influencing the whole. Those teeny tiny leans take me off center, away from the perfect now. </div>
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Everything makes a difference.</div>
</div>Catharine Larsen, MA, LPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04837094709925309008noreply@blogger.com1