Loving Arms

Yesterday I received a tentative diagnosis of early Parkinson's.  I found myself feeling pretty weepy and didn't get anything done, although this possibility is not a surprise to me.  This morning I awakened and went right to our "yoga" room and did my usual morning practice.  This is asana, with lots of somatics these days, pranayama and meditation.  It felt so good and comforting.  I felt wrapped in the loving arms of the Universe.  All is good.

Thanksgiving Turn Around

I hate to admit it, but I can get myself tense during the preparations for holidays like the Thanksgiving we just had.  This year I found something that quickly changed my automatic reaction.

Our son and daughter-in-law and their adorable 4y old Luli, our youngest grandchild, were here from Seattle.  We had the rest of the family here, including girlfriends of grandsons (that's a new one for us).  The two days before Thanksgiving, I was busy preparing food for our visiting kids and for the holiday.  We also made the beds, etc--you know how it goes.

I found myself getting uptight, and then wanting to be angry with Lauren, my hubby, projecting my tenseness out onto him.  Not very nice.  But, I caught this soon-to-be negative behavior, and said (to myself), "I don't want to be like that!"  And I instantly softened and open up--and knew things would work out no matter what--of course.

The result was this turn around lasted throughout the holidays, and I had a much happier and more peaceful holiday and time with our visiting families.  I'm sure they did too.  It was lovely.

                                                                                   

PRACTICE/SADHANA

I just began reading the Fall, 2011 issue of my Integral Yoga Magazine.  On the inside of the front cover was this wisdom from Sri Swami Satchidananda, (who took Mahasamadhi, the soul's conscious final exit from the body, in August, 2004), on spiritual practice.  He said it so much better than I, but I thought it fit with my last blog post.

Spiritual practice is not what you are doing, but what you are thinking.  Remember that.  If you could understand the meaning of sadhana you would know how to do it.  You don't have to change your activities and say, "this is sadhana but this is not."  Everything becomes a spiritual practice.  We should transform all our activities into this kind of sadhana.  That means:  "I am doing everything as a meditation, as an offering, as a prayer to serve God through this service to humanity."  


And later on page 7, "...enjoy the practices....However hard, difficult or painful something is, you can still enjoy it.  Think of people who climb Mt. Everest...they invest a lot of time, energy and effort.  They risk their lives, yet they enjoy the challenge...."


So there it is.  Enjoy and maybe be inspired.

PRACTICE

I've been thinking a lot about "practice" the last few days.    

Practice--I do something over and over (like yoga, like singing when I was younger) to get better at it.

Practice--I have a specific set of things I do daily, or nearly daily, that enhances my life.

Practice--I have a psychology and sandplay therapy practice--it's my work.

The first two definitions are what this blog is about today.  Practicing means making a commitment and then showing up and, well, doing it--practicing.  I can trust myself to discipline myself to show up and do my yoga routine, to meditate.  This is even when I don't want to--I'm tired, busy, distracted, lazy--oh there are a zillion excuses aren't there?

If I faithfully show up, I develop a Practice in my life.  This practice feeds my body and nourishes my soul.  I feel calmer and more trusting of the universe in my life.  It's there when much else is falling away.  It can count on me and I can count on it.

So, practice!  

Belief and Struggle

I have been dealing with body stuff lately--pain and tests.  Nothing serious, but difficult for me.  I focus on it.

How do I go to that place of being in this precise moment and going deep within my body, where I could/might merge with Consciousness/Being?

I believe and I struggle.

Apple Butter

This year has brought several deaths of friends my age--something new for me for the most part.
Joe, my friend and sandplay therapy colleague and consultant's wife, Doris, died last Thursday night

Doris was a "salt-of-the-earth" type of person.  She was close to the earth and thoughtful and no-nonsense.  Doris had been busy making apple butter this fall, gifting it to her child's restaurant and to others.  Apple butter is one of my favorite things, especially spread on top of toast with peanut butter--yummy!  Joe had brought me a jar of her delicious apple butter at the first of this month.  How lucky I am to have received one of her last jars of apple butter.

Here is a poem I wrote in honor of and memory of dear Doris.

Apple Butter

Like apple butter, she was brown and earthy;

Like apple butter, she was sweet and tangy;

Like apple butter, she was smooth and deep;

Like apple butter, she went well with everything;

Like apple butter, she enhanced whatever she was near;

Like apple butter, she was a wonderful gift;

Like apple butter, she belonged to Nature and Spirit,

and it is there she returned, merging with Consciousness.

JUMPING IN WITH MY WHOLE HEART

Well, I've done it!

Years ago I wrote an affirmation for myself that was, "I jump into my life with my whole heart."  My normal pattern was to sign on to something, but then feel a drag or a holding back in myself--which truly was a drag!  I was coming from fear and/or a less-than place.

In my blog, I last talked about participating in the Kumbha Mela pilgrimage in India in February 2013.  I said I had many fears but had committed to going.  Some of my fears have to do with money.

I was compromising, fussing, trying to decide when was the "safest" time to pay--did I dare?  I was doing my usual "holding back."

Today I put the remainder of my balance for the trip into the mail!  I jumped in with my whole heart.  FYI, it's a big deal.