"HEART-BURN"

While meditating, I experienced heartburn.  "Heart burn" is an apt name, as it was at my heart center.  As I breathed into it, I wondered when in my life I may have experienced pain that burned a place in my heart.  I recalled the extreme, and extremely painful, bitterness I felt in my heart after our little Karen died.  That bitterness was so hard to bear, it had such a grip on me, I couldn't let go of it.  (Or I had such a grip on it?)  Did I "burn" a hole of bitterness into my heart?  I was released from that pain--instantaneously-- through prayer.  But the effects may linger.  

I can welcome my "heart-burn" as a painful, but truthful, reminder of such a momentous time in my life.  I can feel deep compassion for me and for that wound in my heart.  It reminds me of the immense and overwhelming pain I felt, as well as the beautiful and grace-filled healing I experienced.

Now, for more grace ~

WE ARE ONE

Something like the Aurora, CO killings is so hard to talk about.  Really, what can one say?  What can one say to those who lost treasured members of their families, dear friends, or who were injured themselves?  What about those who were, and are,traumatized by this inexplainable and horrible event?

We lost a baby who lived for 2 weeks, and that was so hard to bear at the time.  Now I think of her birth and death in a totally different light, but I couldn't do that then.  

Yet I am comforted by remembering that we are all one--EVERYTHING is God/Supreme Consciousness.  The image that mosts comforts me is the one of the vast ocean--water as far as one can see and as deep as one can imagine.  We are drops of water, and when we fall into that ocean, we merge completely, our individuality disappears, and we are one with all that is holy.  

May those who are suffering from this horrible event, eventually find comfort in family and friends, and

faith in remembering their loved ones live on in the oneness of all, as we are part of that same oneness.  

Blessings and Love.

Flash

As I was meditating yesterday morning, my mouth and toe were moving slightly and involuntarily due to Parkinson's.  Then deep in my heart I had a flash--I am God, and I am Love, no matter what is happening on the outside.  I have "known" this for a long time, but in this moment I experienced it!

"Ahhhhhh"

"Take a deep and full breath and say Ahhhhh as loud and as long as you can."  (From a speech therapist)

Yesterday I participated in an all-day evaluation for Parkinson's disease at the Struthers Parkinson Disease Center in Golden Valley, MN.  It was  immensely informative, overwhelming, and a long day.  I saw a neurologist, OT, PT, speech therapist, social worker, and nurse.

In Parkinson's, there is no longer enough dopamine in the brain to send messages to the muscles so they can do what they're supposed to do.  This causes restriction, and  movements are smaller.  The disease is incurable and progressive, and one's individual journey is unknown.  But there are lots of things one can keep doing to try and stay as mobile and healthy as long as possible, including making Big movements and Big sounds.
 
It is easy to live in fear.  I just read a wonderful book, "Chants of a Lifetime" by Krishna Das, who has been called, "the chant master of American yoga."  I was moved by many things he said, as he described his not-so-easy journey into more ease and surrender.  "...to be submersed in the Loving Presence is called surrender...it happens as we ripen in love...a place free from fear or expectation." (p. 170)  We don't need to hold on to love, because love is everywhere--within and without--we are that love.

Can I remember these simple, but profound truths as I journey on?