ADDITION TO WTC BLOG

PASSING IT ON

by John van de Laar

Wherever hatred and suspicion divide people and fragment communities

we will pass on love.

Wherever sorrow and cynicism leave the dark stain of despair

we will pass on joy.

Wherever violence and abuse shatter lives and destroy the earth

we will pass on peace.

Wherever expediency and the quest for quick fixes create confusion and need

we will pass on patience.

Wherever heartlessness and selfishness cause loneliness and exclusion

we will pass on kindness.

Wherever evil and darkness steal away hope and integrity

we will pass on goodness.

Wherever aggression and coercion remove freedom and playfulness

we will pass on gentleness.

Wherever self-interest and shallowness undermine relationships and stability

we will pass on faithfulness.

Wherever lawlessness and carelessness generate chaos and fear

we will pass on self-control.

Taken from the Hope UMC August 29, 2010 bulletin

World Trade Towers Mosque/Grief Revenge

I've been thinking about this for a long time--the connection between grief and revenge. Now, when there is such a great discussion about whether to build a mosque near the site of the World Trade Center, and all of the history and grief it holds, I think it's relevant.

After the World Trade Towers were hit by planes flown by Muslims apparently set on our destruction, there was a tremendous outpouring of grief and outrage. And there still is so much grief.
Our emotions are so strong, they beg to be released, the pressure is so great within us. This is the time when there needs to be time and space for grieving. Unfortunately, those strong emotions so often turn into revenge and attack. This is true on a personal and on a national level in my opinion.

As people take their sides on the WTC site vs. building the mosque, this grief is only too evident, and harsh words and views are being expressed. We have split into We and They, not Us. The climate becomes such that truthful discourse, perhaps focused on reconciliation (while never denying the truth of what happened) does not feel possible.

To grieve fully, one needs to get past the denial and anger and realize and fully accept the enormity and pain of what has happened. This is hard and painful work. But, if one does, one begins to envision a life beyond the grief, where the event to be grieved has been integrated, and where one is now transformed and able to live a richer life because of the suffering.

Etty Hillesum, a young woman who died in Auschwitz, said in diary written from an interim camp, "We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds." (An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941 - 43")

Let us all breathe in the pain and breathe out the healing.

Posted by Catharine Larsen, MA, LP at

Hummingbird Lesson

I've been enjoying watching the hummingbirds at our hummingbird feeder on our deck.  They come early in the morning--rain or shine--and then around noon and then later in the day.   I can distinguish the male from the female, but not when they're flying around quick as can be.  They are feisty, territorial birds.  Even though there are at least 4 feeding stations on the feeder, when the male is feeding, he will not allow another hummingbird to feed at the same time.  He'll even just sit there without dipping into the nectar--is he "holding his space?"  The other one keeps returning for a try, but is darted at and leaves, but keeps trying over and over. 

This made me think of how I keep trying to "protect my territory," in this case it's my expectations.  It's my expectations that the world go according to Catharine, not as it happens to unfold.  That snail-slow person in the car ahead of me who is holding me up; the store that doesn't have the item I want; my husband who doesn't do (guess) what I want him to do.  I'm like that little hummingbird--I react and fuss.  Really, who do I think I am?  Such an ego, an ego that keeps gripping and fussing even though the situation is out of my control.  When I "come to" and am aware, I know how silly and wasteful this all is.

Breathe and accept what is in the moment, staying relaxed and open.  That's my goal anyway.  Good I have the hummingbirds to enjoy and to remind me.

Mower Musings

This morning as I was meditating, my silence was interrupted by the very considerable sounds of a huge riding lawn mower.  (We live in one of several townhouses and these tasks are done for us.)  I had opened the window wide to let some of the lovely fresh air in before it got too hot and muggy. 

I focus on my mantra (a Sanskrit phrase given to me by my teacher) as I meditate, and the mower intruded on my concentration.  Several thoughts came to me.  Should I get up and close the window so that the sound was less?  One of the goals in meditation is to remain still, so I didn't.  This noisy mower presented me with an opportunity.  My main thought was to just let the sound come and go, without needing to grab it--just witness it--over and over.  What I realized did not work was to try and make it go away--then I was grabbing it.  What made the whole situation more difficult was one minute the mower would be really loud right outside my window, and then fade as the mower went far away, which was nice, but then I found myself wondering when it would come back my way again!  (If it had been consistent, I think I would have phased it out of my consciousness.)  I discovered that actually listening to it, letting myself hear it, without reacting to it, was the next best thing to being the witness to it.  Soon I wasn't listening to it, I was merely hearing it pass through my mind as I focused on my mantra.

Sometimes meditation isn't "perfect," but that's just the way of meditation.  Don't get upset over those times.  Be purely in the moment and content with whatever is happening.

Namaste

Transformational Dance Experience/Sacred Dance

I promised I'd talk about my Transformational Dance Retreat experience (July 19 Blog).  I haven't because it is hard to describe something so deep and profound--and fun!  First, the retreat center, Hope Springs, Peebles, OH, is beautiful.  Not a building was located and built without asking the land first--for permission and where to locate the building.  Everything at the site is geared toward love of the land and caring for our environment.  We are served fabulous vegetarian food for every meal--all beautifully presented.

Our dance highlights are each evening, when we blindfold ourselves and dance to the perfect music mix that Roger has planned for that night.  Not being able to see creates a safety and unselfconsiousness, and moves us inward so that we are free to respond to the music in whatever way it moves us.  Roger plays gorgeous music, throbbing tribal music and fun music--all to take us inward and move our spirits to dance--surrendering to the pulse of the moment.  It can be transcending.  I have had some amazing experiences that were entirely unbidden, they just came.  One was that our baby who was born in 1964 and lived 2 weeks, "dropped" into my arms, and I was able to hold her and rock her and then let her go.  I had not been with her when she died, and it seemed she gave me the  opportunity to heal that experience.  Roger and Deb create such a safe space for each person to go to that place that will be most transforming.  The dance retreat is life-changing for most, if not all, of us.