BACK AGAIN!

Here I am again!  I'm back at a place I have known well over the years.  Where?  The place where my expectations of how my life will go take me.  This is what I am saying to myself (usually unconsciously):  "If I do this or do that, then this will happen.  To be specific--If I eat well, exercise, do yoga, meditate, then my body will thank me by not having joint pain (knee pain that interferes with walking this time), intestinal problems (ever since I returned from MX on Feb. 20th, I have not been quite right, although I am better now).  Do you hear how I am unconsciously living in the future and not being purely in the moment?  Using the Yamas and Niyamas, the ethical guidelines of yoga, I am holding on/Aparigraha to my stories of my life; I am not being fully and purely/Saucha in each moment, and my unhappiness over my reality means I am not staying in the center in contentment/Santosha.

I have had to haul myself back to observing and practicing these tools of skillful living and staying where I am as peacefully as I can.  Every now and then I even get a glimpse of joy in recognizing there are blessings in these places too!  These tough places alert me to how I am living my life and cause me to feel grateful for my yoga knowledge--self discipline/Tapas  and surrender/Ishvara Pranidhana.  


And, in all of this, I am practicing the 9th guideline, Self Study/Svadhyaya.  


Let me hear some of your stories.

MY WITNESS GURU

This month in my "Managing Transitions With the Yamas and Niyamas" class, we will be focusing on both Purity and Contentment, the first 2 niyamas.  Niyamas draw one inward, focusing on one's relationship with oneself and learning how to live with integrity and joy.  I have been experimenting with meeting each moment without reservation and remaining content in each moment at specific times in my own life.  Following is one I've been recently playing with.

 I can experience pain in my body at night.  Sometimes I strongly resist it and feel sorry for myself and wish it weren't so--getting more and more agitated.  It helps to remember that I am not my pain, I am not my body, and I am not my fears; my real Self is the unchanging Divine.  The other night I experimented with becoming the Witness or the Watcher of my pain, and my body, and my reactions, and not identifying with these parts of me, which are constantly fluctuating.  I visualize my Witness as a little person, a guru, sitting in lotus pose in my heart, witnessing all and remaining peaceful and unaffected.  I also focused on my even breathing and relaxed my muscles that were trying really hard to tense up.  I'd move away from this place and then just mindfully return to it.  I can't say that it was easy, but I eventually fell asleep.

I was experimenting with being purely in each moment and with remaining still and serene--in contentment--in my heart.  I let myself be the Witness instead of needing to identify with my pain and restlessness.

It's worth exploring!

Namaste