COSMIC JOKE?

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that my dithering about whether or not to have shoulder surgery continues.  I think when I last mentioned it on this blog, I had decided not to have the surgery.  Then sometime later, I decided I would have the surgery, as I have to think about what I can/cannot do nearly every moment--day and night.  Now I'm not so sure again.  Part of my indecision, besides the recovery period and possible pain, is that this shoulder does not bother me much at all.  I have faithfully been doing my theraband exercises and wall pushups, and that and time has greatly stabilized my shoulder.  I am also doing my somatic shoulder exercises and learning how to fine tune my shoulder blade movements.  I can reach, stretch, and use it much more than I could initially and with more body awareness.  I have little pain.  In reality, it is my other shoulder than gives me more trouble--more pain and more mobility problems.  (I do my shoulder routines on that shoulder as well.)  I don't know what is wrong with this other shoulder--is it also a torn rotator cuff, or an "impingement" problem, or both?  


Should I take my chances and not have the surgery.  I know there is a danger I would wait beyond the point when it could be repaired--maybe I already have.


The cosmic joke is that it really doesn't matter which route I choose.  EACH ROUTE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO LEAD ME TO THE SAME PLACE!  Shoulder surgery is the means to my enlightenment/my bliss.  Not having shoulder surgery is the means to my enlightenment/my bliss!  The Universe is the same, I am the same.  How I deal with either one is key.  My wisdom leads me to my enlightenment.  So can my stumbles.  The Universe is there with Grace either way--if I will only receive it.


That comforts me and makes me chuckle, and I'm still not sure what to do.